Pain.

I haven't blogged much because I haven't felt incredibly happy. I don't really love sharing my ugly with people much, but I want to write more, so I'll have to write what I know. Life at our house has been less than calm. Not in the everyday is a circus , I see my kids creating wacky inventions and wrestling their hearts out, but a very sad, painful kind of unrest. Teenage years are hard. We're trying to figure out how to make things more normal. We're working on finding our happy again and I'm hoping and praying that we'll see some kind of peace.
One thing has become clear through all of the chaos. I love my family. They are worth fighting for. My husband and children are amazing people who seem to have cornered the market of quirky, silly, borderline inappropriate maddness. If someone asked me what I've missed most during the rough times, I'd say the warmth. The laughing, wacky, joyful warmth. I see it peeking through some days now and it gives me a great amount of hope.
Part of me wants to diminish the pain and say that it's just teen angst, silliness that isn't that bad, but that wouldn't be true. The truth is my son has a hurt that I don't know exactly how to help fix. If my loving him was the cure, he'd be all better. Being his advocate and getting outside help has created some positive changes lately. I'm grateful for that.